September
23, 2014
2nd
Trimester
Dear Tamzyn,
I am so proud to be your mother. I am touched that Heavenly Father entrusted
me with your care. You are such a
special daughter of God. I know that you
were saved to come to earth at a time when our world dearly needs you and your
talents. I promise to try my best to
raise you with a good moral foundation and provide a loving environment for you
to learn and grow.
I want you to know that you are meant to be a part of
our family. I know this because of an
experience I had with your big brother…
When we told your siblings we were expecting another baby, they were SO
excited. But Branson immediately said,
“If it’s another girl, I’m going to punch this tree ‘til it explodes.” We all immediately hoped for a brother. (Branson had asked for a brother for every
birthday and Christmas for years!) The
day finally came when we would get an ultrasound that would reveal whether we
were getting a little brother or a little sister. After 23 minutes of trying (you were quite
wiggly) the technician declared that you were another little girl. The kids all cried. They really thought they were getting a
brother. After the drive home, I sat
your siblings down and told them how I prayed and prayed before I was pregnant
for a boy. I told the Lord that if it didn’t matter to Him which spirit belonged to
our family, to please send us a brother.
I repeated that prayer several more times. If it didn’t matter, if the Lord didn’t care
one way or the other, please send us a brother for Branson. After telling this to the kids, I looked at
Branson and said, “What do you think that means?” Branson said, “It
must have mattered.”
I was so touched by his wisdom. He immediately knew that you belonged with
our family. Branson has a testimony that
you belong with us – and so do I.
Sweetheart, you are an important part of our lives. The Lord organized our family before you even
came to earth. What a beautiful
blessing! I love you already so
much. Thank you for choosing us.
All my love,
Mommy
February
15, 2015
9th
month
Dear Tamzyn,
Hi beautiful! We
are eagerly awaiting your arrival. I’m
now 36 weeks and 6 days pregnant. We’re
all grateful that you’ve been able to grow until nearly full-term. My body is tired and heavy and I’m anxious to
meet you. Please come soon! J
I’ve washed your clothes, set up your bed, prepared
your car seat, and packed your hospital bag.
The house is clean, the laundry done, the car washed and vacuumed, and
the swing is built. I’ve had my Rhogam
and steroid shots to prepare for your birth.
We have plenty of diapers and wipes, thanks to your Auntie Brittany and
Nana who threw a shower for me. Your daddy and I chose your name, Tamzyn Britta
Reeve, months and months ago. (Tamzyn
and Britta are our two favorite girl names so we put them together!) If you
look up the name Britta, you’ll learn that it means “strength”. Grandma helped me pick out your stuffed
animal – it’s the cutest hippopotamus I’ve ever seen. Auntie Sharon and I picked out the blanket
you’ll use the day you come home from the hospital. I found the gown you’ll wear the day you come
home, but Auntie Ellen wanted to purchase it for you so she did. Natalya helped me choose your lullaby, “When
You Wish Upon A Star”. Irelynn looks
forward to sharing a room with you in our new house. Branson has a testimony that you belong with
our family. Annika can’t wait to be a
big sister. Not a day goes by that your Granddaddy doesn’t pray for you – at every meal and personal prayer. Grandma can’t wait to be your first real
babysitter. Your Granddad and Granny Kim can't wait for you to join the family. There are SO many people who
love you, Tamzyn. Never forget how loved
you are.
Most of all, I love feeling you move around inside my
belly. The kids love to feel your
hiccups. You get the hiccups two or
three times a day and Annika lights up every time she feels them. You are by far the most peaceful of all our
children. You stretch and move just
enough to let me know you’re alive and well, but you certainly don’t have an
overzealous personality. Maybe you’ll be
my little peacemaker.
I can’t wait to hold you in my arms, sweet girl. You already bring me so much joy!
XOXO,
Mom
June
9, 2015
3
months old
Sweet Tamzyn,
It’s such a privilege to be your mother! You are the sweetest, happiest, cutest little
baby. I am thankful every day for
you. I’m writing this letter to tell you
about your birth story. Your story is
unique. I want you to know that
regardless of how you came into the earth, I am SO glad you’re here. I couldn’t
imagine my life without you!
I carried you longer than any of your siblings. I didn’t go into labor until I was 38 weeks
along. It was Friday, February 27th
that I felt intense contractions.
(Unlike most mothers, I experience contractions regularly throughout my
entire pregnancy!) I knew that labor was
beginning because they wouldn’t go away.
It was around 9:00pm that I noticed my contractions were moving closer
together, about 7 minutes apart. I
immediately sent your daddy to bed because I knew that he would need his sleep
if we were going to have a baby sometime during the night. My contractions grew more intense and slowly
moved closer together. By 2:00am, I woke
your daddy up and told him it was time to go to the hospital. We wrote a quick note to the kids and left it
on the kitchen counter. (Grandma and
Grandaddy were home and would watch them until we returned from the
hospital.)
Once we got to the hospital I was surprised to learn
that I was only 3 centimeters dilated.
My labors typically progress rapidly so I expected to be a little
further along! My pain level was ok so
we watched the monitor as my contractions continued. After we were transferred to the labor and
delivery room we called your Auntie Brittany and she came to support me during
the birth process. Auntie Brittany was
part of my birth plan! I really wanted
to deliver you without any pain medication so I asked Auntie Brittany to be my
cheerleader. Your daddy is so sweet to
me and doesn’t want me to be uncomfortable, so I didn’t think that he would
have been as supportive once my pain grew more intense.J I told them both that I needed them to be
strong for me. I wanted them to
reinforce that I could do this! I had
already delivered Irelynn and Annika nearly medication-free, so I thought that
my fifth child would be my easiest. I
was wrong!
Contractions continued throughout the night and into
morning. They were intense to say the
least. I had terrible back labor. I felt like my vertebrae were either
disintegrating or fusing together. In
the moment I described the pain as “lava” down my spine. Your daddy and Auntie Brittany were
wonderful. They would hold my hand
through tough contractions, sit me up, and even lift my body a little so my
back would get some relief. It was
frustrating to me that despite mighty contractions, my body was not dilating as
quickly as I was accustomed to dilating.
I spent nearly 2 hours dilated to an 8!
It was exhausting.
My body was struggling.
I felt like I had a fever. Your
daddy had to get washcloths wet and press them all over my neck, forehead and
back. Then at times I felt like I was
suffocating. I reached for my necklace
and gown and pulled them down so I could breathe but nothing would make it stop. I squeezed Auntie Brittany’s hand through
each contraction until I almost had no strength left. Words can’t adequately describe searing
pain. I felt like my body was breaking.
Toward the end of your labor I was so fatigued that I couldn’t even make a
fist.
Dr. Harter had been my doctor throughout all 5 of my
pregnancies. Unfortunately he was out of
town on a ski trip in Utah so Dr. Watson was on call and would be the one to
deliver you. I had never met Dr. Watson
before and was apprehensive at the thought of someone else in charge of your
delivery. He was a very nice man, but in
an emergency situation I would have felt much more comfortable with my regular
doctor.
It was truly a “labor”.
I endured such great pain without much progress. I was begging the nurse to let me start
pushing because I wanted this all over. When she finally agreed, they brought
the doctor in. I was physically
exhausted and it took a great deal of mental strength to continue. I teetered between screaming and crying for
almost an hour. The pain was
relentless. It wouldn’t stop. This was unlike my other 4 labor and deliveries. My body would not cooperate. At one point I feared for my life and yours
as the pain was so intense it was nearly unbearable. I’m embarrassed to admit that I got to a place where I
would have welcomed death rather than have had to endure another minute of such
unforgiving pain.
The doctor discovered that you were sideways and
stuck. With every contraction you would
descend slightly, but when the contraction ended you went right back to where
you were before. For some reason your body would not turn the right direction for a safe delivery. Dr. Watson was afraid that
both your shoulders would be displaced and warned us that if you weren’t
delivered in the next 15 minutes, I would have an emergency C-section. Honestly at this point I was in so much agony
that I was literally begging for him to take you out. I screamed during contractions, cried and
begged in between them, and screamed again through the next contraction until I
had no fight left.
At minute 14, I bore down and you descended just enough
that the doctor was able to deliver you. Never had I been so relieved in all
my life. The first thing I said was, “Is
she OK??” You were fine. Not without bruises and a cut on your head,
but you were ok. Your poor little head
was slightly misshapen and swollen, but you were pink and otherwise
perfect. They whisked you away to check
on your health and when they brought you back and lay you in my arms, I tried
to hold you but my strength was gone. I told your daddy that I was going to
drop you so he held you instead. I cried
and cried. They were tears of
exhaustion. I had gone through something
so tremendously difficult and I think I was in shock.
After two episiotomies plus a 3rd
degree tear through layers of muscle, the doctor put 20 stitches in me. I
was soaked from having sweat so much and shaking from head to toe, but I was determined to hold you. When at last I mustered the strength, Daddy
set you in my arms and I cried. This
time it was tears of relief that you were ok, and tears of joy at the beautiful
daughter that was mine.
I felt overwhelmed
with love for you. I think after such a
traumatic experience I looked upon you as a miracle from God. You didn’t cry. Your eyes were open and you looked around and
connected with me. You were so alert and
watchful; I knew I was seeing intelligence behind your eyes. I kissed my miracle baby again and
again. We marveled at you. My heart soared with gratitude for you. Then I was carted off to my recovery
room.
Recovering from a birth experience that harrowing was a
trial to say the least. The first few
days were agonizing as I tried to walk, sit, stand, and climb stairs. Most of the time I found myself reclined on
our couch with you on my lap. It took me
two weeks before I could sit properly in a car.
Once my swelling had gone down, it was around then that we discovered
that my body (urethra) was turning itself inside out. (As if recovering from a difficult childbirth
wasn’t hard enough, now I had to deal with the inside of my body falling
out!) It took a full 8 weeks for my body
to pull itself mostly back together. I
was just grateful to avoid surgical intervention.
Through all the sacrifice and pain, I want you to know
that you were worth every scar. I would
do it all over again in a heartbeat if I knew that at the end of the day I
would get to be your mother. You are the
closest thing in this life to perfect.
I am so honored to be your mother. At times I feel inadequate to fulfill such an
enormous responsibility, but I will do my best.
I have such an intense love for you.
I know with my whole heart that you were meant to be on the earth at
this time, and as a member of our family.
My wish is for you to stay close to your Savior, Jesus
Christ. He is the only way to real joy
in this lifetime. I know that if you put
your faith in the Lord and lean on Him throughout your life, he will not lead
you astray. He will guide you back to
your loving Father in Heaven where we can live together for all eternity in a
society of joy. I want us to be a
forever family. I will do all I can to
teach you and help you grow up in truth and righteousness.
I want you to understand the love your daddy and I have
for one another. Our love grows deeper
with each passing year. We are best
friends! There’s no one on this earth I
would rather spend my time with than your father. We’re happiest when we’re together. We put each other first, always more
concerned for the other before ourselves.
Our marriage is built upon the rock of Christ. We know that the Lord is key to our success.
Always remember that you are a significant part of our
family. You are loved and important. Be strong, be wise, and be kind. If you ever make a mistake, it’s never too
late to fix it and your daddy and I will always be there to help.
I love you more than seems possible!
Thanks for choosing Team Reeve.
Love,
Mommy
1 comments:
Beautiful birth story! You are such a good mom!
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